Soulmate by Natasha Bedingfield (2007)

Performed by: Natasha Bedingfield

Album: N.B.

What is your definition of a soulmate? To me, a soulmate is "someone who is brought into your life so that you can grow and be the best version of yourself. And when you feel a strong irresistible urge to enter a relationship with another person, that person could very well be your soulmate. A soulmate is someone who is put in this world with the ability to love you like you were made to be loved. Simply put, a soulmate is your one and only, the one you're destined to be with, the love of your life. It's a love that survives anything and everything, that struggles and pulls through. It's a love that makes you cringe at the thought that, had your life gone differently even for a millisecond, you may not have met this person - but in your heart you know you would have, some way, somehow, because soulmates always find one another." 

Before I settled on the above definition of a soulmate, the concept of a soulmate never really crossed my mind much because it's such a difficult thing to attain. Saying that someone is your soulmate is a BIG deal! And although it's just one word, or two some might argue, this one word encompasses A LOT! And seemingly unattainable really. 

In searching for what I think a soulmate is, I came across some quotes about the topic that I subscribe to and would like to share here with you. 

“True love is finding your soulmate in your best friend”  

- Faye Hall, My Gift To You

“Have you ever met someone for the first time, but in your heart you feel as if you’ve met them before?”  

- JoAnne Kenrick, When A Mullo Loves A Woman 

“Love doesn't make the world go 'round; love is what makes the ride worthwhile.”  

- Shannon L. Alder

"Soul mates aren't perfect people. They can come into your life and provide polar emotional experiences from intense love to intense pain. Growth comes from both. And a soul mate helps you grow. It isn't just '... and they lived happily ever after' but '... and they lived!' " 

- Lori Chidori Phillips 

"People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that's holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person that you will ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake." 

- Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray Love

What about you? Do you agree? Do you disagree? That there's a soulmate for everyone. I guess everyone deep down inside yearns to find their soulmate. And I agree with the lyrics of the song, a soulmate should "speak out if you do (exist and hear my cry), you're not easy to find". I think fate and destiny can only take you to the train station (so the speak), but it cannot force you to get on the train, and most certainly cannot decide which train you should take. That choice is yours and yours alone. So open your heart to the possibility of a soulmate and maybe yours just might appear in front of you. Of course, on the flip side  one could search till the ends of the earth and never find this one person. After all, there are SO MANY people in the world. If you can find this ONE person among the billions of people on earth, you are VERY lucky. And what if you think someone is your soulmate, then it turns out to be someone else? This soulmate business is really very tricky. 

But the song does make you believe and yearn to find this illusive soulmate. I can't deny that. And interestingly, I have recently wondered if I have indeed found my soulmate. Yes! It's a big deal. Because of the weight I place on the word soulmate. Some people use the word lightly. Words being the best tool I use to express myself, I tread carefully with the use of the word 'soulmate'. In fact, the word scares me. Yet it also thrills me. And to entertain the thought that I might have found a soulmate in someone makes me feel a million emotions. 

Fear being the most obvious and prominent emotion I can recognise feeling. Fear that I could be wrong. Fear that I could lose this person. Fear that he might not feel the same way.

To quote the movie Never Been Kissed, "that thing, that moment, when you kiss someone and everything around you becomes hazy. And the only thing in focus is you and this person. And you realise that that person is the only person that you're supposed to kiss for the rest of your life. And for one moment you get this amazing gift, and you want to laugh, and you want to cry, cause you feel so lucky that you found it, and so scared that that it will go away all at the same time."

I guess I just have to focus on the other emotions more. That, or I might just have to throw away all emotions about how I feel about the possibility of finding my soulmate and just enjoy whatever this is between me and this person.

So to this person, please love me. Cos it would totally suck if you turned out to be the kind of soulmate people usually read about in books and watch in movies, who turn out to be JUST your best friend.

Gotta Be Somebody by Nickelback (2008)

Performed by: Nickelback

Album: Dark Horse

Did You Know? - Gotta Be Somebody is the first official single released from the album Dark Horse. However, the song If Today Was Your Last Day was initially planned as the first single to be released.


Each song puts me in a different mood. And with Gotta Be Somebody, it makes me feel both hopeful and sad at the same time. In fact, when I feel lonely, I love to put this song on repeat, and very loudly. 

It's obvious isn't it? From the title of the song, you immediately know its about wanting to find that special someone out there for you. And that is why it makes me both hopeful and sad. 

I feel hopeful that there's gotta be somebody out there for me, but sad that I haven't found him yet. Maybe I will, maybe I won't, but for now, this song gets me every time. 

My colleague and an old friend of mine got married yesterday and like the lyrics of the song, "I wonder what it feels like to find the one in this life, the one we all dream of". I was talking to a few friends after the wedding about how I want an exciting and thrilling love to call my own. And although I'm now trying out the whole online dating website thing, I am a traditionalist and kinda prefer meeting a person organically, face to face when it comes to meeting someone and falling in love. Of course I don't rule it out totally the whole online dating thing. But, one can have a preference right? I mean, who doesn't want the moment that they meet their special someone to "play out like a scene straight off the silver screen". Hmm the film Win A Date With Tad Hamilton! and Notting Hill suddenly comes to mind. 

Anyway, to my Mr Perfect, "I'll be holding my breath, right up 'til the end, until that moment when, I find the one that I'll spend forever with". Who am I referring to? You of course silly.

Gotta Be Somebody Lyrics:

This time, I wonder what it feels like
To find the one in this life, the one we all dream on
But dreams just aren't enough
So I'll be waiting for the real thing, I'll know it by the feeling
The moment when we're meeting, will play out like a scene
Straight off the silver screen
So I'll be holding my breath, right up 'til the end
Until that moment when, I find the one that I'll spend forever with

Cause nobody wants to be the last one there
Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares
Someone to love with my life in their hands
There's gotta be somebody for me like that
Cause nobody wants to do it on their own
And everyone wants to know they're not alone
There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere
There's gotta be somebody for me out there

Tonight, out on the street, out in the moonlight
And dammit this feels too right, it's just like déja vu
Me standing here with you
So I'll be holding my breath, could this be the end?
Is it that moment when, I find the one that I'll spend forever with

Cause nobody wants to be the last one there
Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares
Someone to love with my life in their hands
There's gotta be somebody for me like that
Cause nobody wants to do it on their own
And everyone wants to know they're not alone
There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere
There's gotta be somebody for me out there

Ooo... You can't give up, (when you're looking for)
A diamond in the rough (cause you never know)
When it shows up, (make sure you're holding on)
Cause it could be the one, the one you're waiting on
Cause nobody wants to be the last one there
And everyone wants to feel like someone cares
Someone to love with my life in their hands
There's gotta be somebody for me, oh

Nobody wants to go it on their own
And everyone wants to know they're not alone
There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere
There's gotta be somebody for me out there
Nobody wants to be the last one there
Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares
There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere
There's gotta be somebody for me out there


Music Video:

The music video for Gotta Be Somebody isn't the best one I've seen, far from it actually. And while watching the music video, all I can think of is how much the lead vocalist Chad Kroeger kinda reminds me of Nicholas Cage. I think its because the CGI really makes it feel quite amateurish. However, that being said, I like the opening in space with the CGI graphics of the various planets. I have a thing for space. Also, the Brooklyn Bridge and Colosseum used in the music video really brought a smile to my face because it reminded me of when I saw it in real life. 

Interestingly, the music video won Best Video, Best Rock Video, and Best Post Production at the 2009 MuchMusic Video Awards.

The Eclectic Reviewer thinks... Nickleback's Gotta Be Somebody is the perfect song for when you're feeling lonely and need to feel some hope of ever finding somebody special to spend forever with. I love this kind of grand rock ballad tune as well. So together with the lyrics, it's high on my favourite list. 

* Album cover from Wikipedia

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crazy/beautiful (2001)

Director: John Stockwell (1)

Cast: Kirsten Dunst (2), Jay Hernandez (3), Bruce Davison (4), and Taryn Manning (5)

(Watch the trailer)

My favourite quote – “There are millions of people in this world, but in the end it all comes down to one. I still panic sometimes, forget to breathe, but I know that there's something beautiful in my imperfections; the beauty that he held up for me to see. The strength that I will never be able to say."

True love. The one. Do you believe in that? True love and the elusive "one"? I haven't found him yet I guess or he hasn't found me, whichever. I have watched this film so many times but still I tear up and get very emotional when I watch it. I like what Kirsten Dunst's character says at the end of the film. Its my favourite because its something I believe in too, that while "there are millions of people in this world, but in the end it all comes down to one."

I also think that the right person for you will compliment you and make you a better person, which is what happens in crazy/beautiful. I guess that is why they say opposites attract isn't it? Nicole, played wonderfully by Kirsten Dunst, has her imperfections and is often seen as unruly and trouble, but all it took is Jay Hernandez's Carlos Nuñez who loves her despite her craziness and sees the beauty in her. Nicole is so out of control, while Carlos is so straight laced and in control forgetting to have fun and live a little.

crazy/beautiful is a very straightforward predictable film. But why do I enjoy it so? Probably because I am a sucker for romance and anything to do with love conquering it all. We have two vastly different individuals who find one another unexpectedly. Their differences and initial incompatibility is stark and very obvious. And yet the film slowly draws you into their differences and their romance because it is a Romeo and Juliet type story. And we always want to see Romeo end up with Juliet and have a happily ever after. And thankfully in this film they do. Their journey is arduous and not very surprising, but it is moving nonetheless.

The way the film is shot makes it feel very real. Like it were a documentary on young love and the difficulty of a father coping with a daughter he doesn't know how to communicate with or know how to show his love for her. I especially love that at the end of the film, father and daughter finally open a door of communication with each other and try to work on the relationship. Sometimes, all you need to do is to talk things through, properly. But of course, you must first want to make things work out. Its a two way communication, both parties must want to make it work. 

Nicole says to her father "I know I not easy to love, but could you try anyway" near the end of the film and it hits me finally, that besides being about romantic love, its also about a father's love and mother's love too. Despite being a handful, Nicole's father never stopped loving her. And Carlos' mother works so hard to give him a good education because she loves him and wants the best for him. 

"You can be anywhere where when your life begins. You meet the right person and anything is possible."

"You can be anywhere when your life begins. When the future opens up in front of you. And you may not even realize it at first, but it's already happening."

A friend once told me that maybe she still can't find her true love because it isn't meant to be. That because she is blessed and so loved by her parents and her good friends that true love will be the one thing that eludes her. Maybe that is true. But maybe she just hasn't met the right person. But one thing I do know is that even if I can't find this true love, my parents, family members, and good friends will love me no matter what. And at the moment, I will hold on to that. Life goes on with or without a man by my side. I can be anyway when my life begins, but first I have to make sure I am living my life and not wasting it away. 

(1) John Stockwell has directed films like Blue Crush (2002), and Into The Blue (2005).

(2) Kirsten Dunst has acted in films like Interview With The Vampire (1994), Little Women (1994), Jumanji (1995), The Virgin Suicides (1999), Bring It On (2000), Get Over It (2001), Spider-Man (2002), Mona Lisa Smile (2003), Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind (2004), Spider-Man 2 (2004), Wimbledon (2004), Elizabethtown (2005), Marie Antoinette (2006), Spider-Man 3 (2007), How To Lose Friends And Alienate People (2008), Bachelorette (2012), On The Road (2012), and Upside Down (2013). 

(3) Jay Hernandez has acted in films like Torque (2002), Ladder 49 (2004),World Trade Centre (2006), Grindhouse (2007), Takers (2010), and LOL (2012).

(4) Bruce Davison has acted in films like The Baby-Sitters Club (1995), X-Men (2000), Summer Catch (2001), X3 (2003), and Runaway Jury (2003).

(5) Taryn Manning has acted in films like Crossroads (2002), 8 Mile (2002), Cold Mountain (2003), Hustle & Flow (2005), Lucky 13 (2005), and A Lot Like Love (2005).




The Eclectic Reviewer thinks… crayz/beautiful makes you want to keep believing that you will one day meet someone who will accept you and all your weirdness and craziness and make you a better person. Are you convinced? I am. It keeps the hope in me alive. The hope that I will find myself a Carlos Nuñez. But in the meantime, I will remember that there is something beautiful in my imperfections and to keep breathing and not to panic even if I don't ever meet him. You might be crazy in the eyes of others, but you're beautiful in your own way. Never forget that. And anyway, my parents will love me no matter what. I just need to remember to be thankful for that and love them them back. (4 of 5)

* Movie Poster from Wikipedia

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Bed of Roses (1996)

Writer and Director: Michael Goldenberg (1)

Cast: Mary Stuart Masterson (2) and Christian Slater (3)

(Watch the trailer)

My favourite quotes – “I live on a planet called reality, where stuff like that just doesn't happen" & "Every now and then, everyone's entitled to too much perfection."

Do fairy tales come true? Do happily ever afters happen? This romantic drama wants you to believe they do. After all, the two leads in Bed of Roses manage to work through their personal baggage and end up together.

This may sound like a tale you’ve heard many times before. But as with most things in life, it is not the destination that matters, but the journey you took to get there. This film manages to bring across the point that no matter your past, there is someone out there perfect for you, if you would only let him or her love you.

It might seem incredulous that the two leads fall in love so quickly and through such a non-realistic and overtly romantic “knight in shining armour” manner. However, the beauty of the film is that it shows you the truth behind that romantic fluff. That fate and romance can only take you so far, the rest is up to you. Do you want to take that leap of faith to love and trust someone? Can you accept that person entirely; past, present and future? A relationship isn’t just about the romantic feelings of love, but also about working through your own “shit” and understanding and accepting the other person despite their “shit”. Cos “shit” happens all the time. The question is, can you stick around, do you want to stick around, will you stick around through all that “shit”. 

That is what I love about Bed of Roses.

Sometimes I think that it is because of the romance books I read and all these romantic comedies or dramas that I watch that gives me too high an expectation on love and my partner. Does it have a negative effect on my finding a partner? Maybe, but hey, "every now and then, everyone's entitled to too much perfection" isn't it? I once told myself not to settle for anything but what I want for myself. If I have to live for the rest of my life with this person, then I must be happy and willing to accept that person for all that he is, warts and all. I don't want to settle for something I am not 100% comfortable about. 

Then again, my logical side kicks in and tells me, “I live on a planet called reality, where stuff like that just doesn't happen" and that such a person doesn't exist. And that makes me wonder if I should settle for someone rather than be alone for the rest of my life. And my feelings about the matter so far is that I'd rather accept the truth that I'd be alone and single for the rest of my life than to struggle with someone else I may not be fully certain of because I don't want to feel pressurised or obliged to be happy for that person. That isn't fair to me or that person. And its gonna be such a drag isn't it? 

So it looks like I better get used to the idea of being a spinster. But you know what, being a spinster isn't so bad. There's all sorts of negative connotation to the term spinster. But why? Is it so bad that someone is single? Yes, maybe they have high expectations. Yes, maybe those expectations are unreasonably high. But you know what, its THEIR expectation! If they cannot feel happy or cannot stomach the idea of settling for less than perfection, then why judge them for their choice. Maybe in a few years when my biological clock starts counting down, I might sing another tune and panic. But right now, yes, I want to be loved by someone and have someone special to "go home to", but I'm not in such a hurry yet that I'd compromise what I think is perfection in my eyes. I'm waiting for that imperfect someone who is just perfect for me, thank you very much. 

Now in terms of the actors and their chemistry. With Christian Slater and Mary Stuart Masterson, there's something about their pairing that I find odd. I watched Untamed Heart first so I guess I prefer the pairing of Christian Slater and Marisa Tomei more than this one. But in terms of their acting, well, they are convincing enough as a couple to be able to stir such emotions and opinions about my life. So in all, Bed of Roses is a film I'd watch over and over again. 

(1) Michael Golenberg has written films like Contact (1997), Peter Pan (2003), Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (2007), and Grenn Lantern (2011)

(2) Mary Stuart Masterson has acted in films like Some Kind of Wonderful (1987) and The Cake Eaters (2007)

(3) Christian Slater has acted in films like Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (1991) and Untamed Heart (1993)

The Eclectic Reviewer thinks… Bed of Roses will remind you that love isn’t easy and not always a bed of roses, but when two people love each other they will be willing to work things out. And don't forget, everyone deserves too much perfection in their lives even if you live in a planet called reality. (3 of 5)

* Movie Poster from Wikipedia

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