Safe Haven (2013)

Directed by Lasse Hallström (1)

Cast: Josh Duhamel (2), Julianne Hough (3), and Cobie Smulders (4)

(Watch the trailer)

My favourite quotes - "Are you staying or you just passing through or what's your story?", "Look Katie, the great thing is, life is full of second chances", "Listen to me, I'm in love with you. I'm in love with you. And if you stay I promise... there's no safer place in the world than right here with me.", "Take a lot of pictures. You'll only regret the ones that you didn't take.", & "To the woman my husband loves. If you're reading this, then it must be true. He loves you, beyond a shadow of a doubt or else he wouldn't have given this to you. I can only hope that you feel the same way about him as he does about you. But I wanted to write this letter because I wanted you to know one very very important thing; I'm so glad he's found you. I only wish I could be there some how to meet you, and maybe in some ways I am. (Inside the envelope is also a photo of Jo and Josh) Outside of my husband and my two beautiful children, you are the most important person in the world to me. Because I am gone and they're yours now. You need to take care of them; make them laugh, hold them when they cry, stand up for them, and teach them wrong from right. The thought of you... it gives me hope; hope that Alex remembers what it feels like to be young and in love, hope that Josh finds somebody to fish with again, hope that Lexie has someone to help her on her wedding day. I hope that one day my family is whole again. But most of all hope that somehow I'm there with all of you, watching over all of you."


Jo: Look I, I moved out here, same as you, I think, to get some peace and quiet. So I get it if you...
Katie: Yeah. I like the fact that I can hear myself think.
Jo: Yes. Thank you. I mean, isn't it so nice to be away from all that noise and that chatter? I mean it can be a little deafening sometimes, so it is, it is nice to meet somebody as rustically inclined as I am. 
Katie: Okay.
Jo: Well it's nice to meet you.
Katie: Yeah you too.

I am in between with regards to how I feel about the city and the countryside. I love hustle and bustle of the city. It fascinates me. It helps that cities are oftentimes very convenient and easy to get around in. Perfect for travelers who like to walk from point to point. But I also hate crowds. Especially crowds that are rude and like to shove you around on the trains. 

I remember vividly, a time long ago, on a holiday with my family in New Zealand. I was a teenager, and I was going through a rough patch, I can't remember what about anymore. And for the first time on the trip, I had a room to myself. It was quiet. And tranquil. It was on the second floor and I was sitting at the bay window. Although it was chilly, I left the window open and I could feel the breeze and I could smell the ocean and taste the salty seawater even from where I was sitting. That kind of peace was a godsend. And just like that, I too fell in love with the quiet countryside. 

While I am not "rustically inclined" like Jo, I do enjoy the occasional escape into the peace and quiet of the countryside. Which explains why I really loved being in Santorini during the off peak winter season last year. And I think I'd want to have a bay window in my house, should I be able to afford a house in the future.

"Are you staying or you just passing through or what's your story?"
- Alex 

Everyone has a story, a past. What's yours? Littered throughout this blog, you've been privy to bits and pieces of my story and my character. So in some ways, this is a part journal, part review blog. When I watch an episode of my favourite television series I get transported into a new world, theirs. And I find meaning in their story. That is what I love about films and television series. That is what they're for, to show us a new world full of different possibilities.

Katie: You just become dark... like there's... the life is just sucked out of you. You just felt worthless. Like there's no point. And I just stuck up for him all the time. Cause it wasn't his fault, it was mine. Feel completely alone... 
Alex: It's okay. It's okay. You're okay now.
Katie: I never really talked about.
Alex: Well I'm so glad you're here.
Katie: I am too.
Alex: Everything's gonna be okay.
Katie: Yeah.

With Safe Haven, the most recent adaptation of Nicholas Sparks' books, the topic of domestic abuse and starting over is the focal point of the story. When I realised that Julianne Hough's character Katie (aka Erin in her old life) was being abused by her cop husband, it reminded me of the Flashpoint episode 'Asking For Flowers'. Is it that cops are more prone to dishing out domestic violence? Or is it just a plot point to up the stakes for the abused women in the show?

"Look Katie, the great thing is, life is full of second chances"
- Jo

Katie ran away to escape her husband's abusive ways. But it was also a chance to start afresh and to rebuild her life. Her second chance at living a full and happy life. It's the same with Josh Duhamel's Alex who lost his wife to cancer a few years back and has to raise his 2 young kids alone. So ultimately, it's a story about 2 lost or damaged souls who find their way towards each other and a better life. Hmm... sounds like a couple of Nicholas Sparks adaptation. It's a similar tale as found in The Lucky One, The Last Song, and Nights In Rodanthe.

Alex: I'm sorry... I'm so sorry... please just... just stay. 
Katie: No. You were right. I have to go. He's gonna find me. He's gonna find us. 
Alex: Whoa whoa whoa. Wait... Just tell me the truth, just tell me what happened. And if you're in trouble we can get the police involved. I can talk to Ray.
Katie: You don't understand Alex, he is the police. My husband's a cop in Boston. That's why he can do all that.
Alex: I don't care aright. I'm not going to let him hurt you anymore. I'm not gonna let him hurt you anymore.
Katie: It doesn't even matter. I can't put you through that. I can't put your family through that. He's always gonna be there. He doesn't quit.
Alex: Katie... Listen to me, I'm in love with you. I'm in love with you. And if you stay I promise... there's no safer place in the world than right here with me. 
Katie: I'm so scared.
Alex: I know you are. But you don't have to be. You don't have to be scared... I love you... please stay.

But this is what gives us hope. Hope that no matter how damaged or lost we are, we can find that special someone who will keep us safe and will brave the storm with us. I want someone like that. Someone who will make me feel safe and loved. Someone I can depend on. 

Safe Haven brings up 2 serious topics - abuse and recovering from the loss of a loved one. It's pretty cool the way Nicholas Sparks combines these 2 subjects through the characters of Katie and Alex. 

The only other show I've seen Julianne Hough in was the 2011 remake of Footloose. And I think she did a pretty descent job in Safe Haven as Katie. She was able to bring a certain depth to the character and I was with her throughout the whole film; through her fear, her apprehension, and gradually, her joy. 

With Josh Duhamel's performance as Alex, it was nothing I haven't seen before in his other films like Ramona And Beezus and Life As We Know It. He wasn't bad. He just didn't give me anything different from his previous performance which isn't so much a reflection of his acting abilities but perhaps the kind of roles he plays. 

However, of all of his performances in romantic comedies or dramas, I enjoyed his take of Alex in Safe Haven the most.

When I was younger, I declared that if possible I'd like to die before my husband does. Why? Because I'm selfish and don't want to live a lifetime alone without my partner. Maybe if I have children I'd find the strength to live on and not be a wreck. But now that I'm older, while I hope I am able to live on after my partner is gone, I hope if he does die before me, that he doesn't leave me too soon.

Katie: Does it get better... with time? 
Alex: Yeah... Yeah... Yeah, at first I tried to avoid every place that we went together. I tried to forget. I tried to put it behind me. I tried to... just look forward. But it just didn't work. And I realised that if I'm not thinking about her then who is. You know... and she didn't deserve that; she was an amazing woman and I loved her, and I want my children to know that. I want them to know her. So... I just... we're just keeping our heads down. Getting to play mum and dad, which is... interesting. Just trying to keep it all together really. But today with you, this is probably the first time that I've looked up.
Katie: It's a perfect day.

Although it's not the same, but after my breakups, I was like Alex, I avoided places we went to, and tried to forget every memory I have of him and when we were together. But that's denial. And denial will only cause all the hurt and pain to suddenly come back and bite you in the butt. 

And just after a breakup, I recall telling my friends that I feel as if I will never find someone as good as he is again. But that isn't always true. Yes, some people never find someone else as amazing as their one true love. But some do. And for some, the person that they meet next is even better than the person they were with before. Every person's story is different. 

The Vow (2012)

Director: Michael Sucsy (1)

Cast: Channing Tatum (2), Rachel McAdams (3), Sam Neil (4), Jessica Lange (5), Scott Speedman (6)

(Watch the trailer)

My favourite quote - 
"I chose to stay with him for all the things that he had done right, and not to leave him for the one thing that he had done wrong. I chose to forgive him" and "You accepted me for who I am, and not for what you wanted me to be"

Just a week ago, my uncle whom I am pretty close to had just gotten married. And it got me thinking about marriage and having someone special to go home to. And when they were saying their vows, I was wondering if I would one day find someone special to say those marriage vows to. And that if and when I am getting married, I would write my own vows, unique to me and my partner and say those vows with God and my family and friends as witness. In the film, I really enjoyed the unique vows said by Leo and Paige played by Channing Tatum and Rachel McAdams. 

Paige: I vow to help you love life, to always hold you with tenderness and to have the patience that love demands, to speak when words are needed and to share the silence when they are not, and to live within the warmth of your heart and always call it home. 

Leo: I vow to fiercely love you in all your forms, now and forever. I promise to never forget that this is a once in a lifetime love. I vow to love you, and no matter what challenges might carry us apart, we will always find a way back to each other. 

Wedding vows are not to be taken lightly. When you say your "I dos" you are promising to love that person, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, for better or for worse, till death do you part. The Vow is about this very promise between a man and a woman. Not everyone gets put to the test in the same manner as the characters in the film. And of course we hope people don't have to ever go through this. But if they do, or if I do in the future face a situation like this, I hope that I will be able to get through it like these characters have. 

The quote that affected me the most in this film was uttered by Paige Collins' mother played by Jessica Lange. If it happened to me, would I be able to forgive my husband for cheating on me? Would I be able to look past his one discretion and stay with him? I don't know if I can or will. And I do hope I will never have to face such a dilemma. But, I do believe that that quote, is what a marriage is about. You will have tough times, you might make each other angry or do things that hurt your partner, but the important thing is that you have promised to keep trying and working on the marriage no matter what happens. 

The other quote that struck me deeply was said by Rachel McAdams' Paige Collins - "You accepted me for who I am, and not who you wanted me to be". That is what a marriage partnership is about as well. No one is perfect, but you might be that perfect someone for one other imperfect person. I am who I am. And one day, I might meet someone who accepts me for who I am, and will compliment me the same way I compliment him. 

You know how jigsaw puzzle pieces need to fit perfectly to form the picture. I think that is how I see relationships. The jigsaw piece is made just the way it is, and if you have to force a piece to fit with another, the end result is not the way its supposed to be. If its meant to be, its meant to be isn't it?

13 Going On 30 (2004)

Director: Gary Winick (1)

Cast: Jennifer Garner (2), Judy Greer (3), Mark Ruffalo (4)

(Watch the trailer)

My favourite quote - "You can't just turn back time." 

Be prepared for a number of reflective entries throughout the year. You see, I'm turning 30 this November. 
Early this year, it hit me, I am turning 30 this year... but not yet. I'm ain't 30 yet, not until the morning of 20th November 2012. But honestly what difference does a few months do? I have to face the facts. I'm 29 going on 30. 

This film still makes me cry when the 30 year old Jenna Rink loses the 30 year old Matt Flamhaff for good. And that's also when he says two lines that resonates with me. "You can't just turn back time."  and "You don't always get the dream house, but you get awfully close."

Let's talk about the first quote - "You can't just turn back time." This is a fact. But its my favourite quote in the film because of its context.

Do you have any regrets in your life? Mistakes you made in the past that you wish you didn't make? When Jennifer Garner's Jenna Rink asked her mother what she would change in her life if she could have a do-over, her mother told her that she wouldn't change anything and that even though she made a lot of mistakes she doesn't regret making any of them, because if she hadn't have made those mistakes, she wouldn't know how to make things right. Until some genius invents a time machine, we have to remember that you can't just turn back time. So we must always remember that, and to live in the present. We can reflect on the past to improve ourselves, and plan for the future, but we must never forget to live in the now. What's the point of looking forward or to the past when the present is what we should be focused on?

I have made mistakes, I wish I could turn back time sometimes. However, no use harping on something I can't change. Best to not waste any more time and work on the now, so that another 30 years later, I won't look back at my life and wish that things were different.

Don't get me wrong. I don't hate my life. I know if I had done a few things differently, if I had the wisdom and advantage of knowing how my life would have turned out, I might do something different too at 13. However, this is my life. This is now. There are many things I want out of my life that hasn't yet been accomplished. So I best get on it. Maybe I can accomplish it by the time I turn 30 in November. Most likely not, but you never know.

Now, the other quote "You don't always get the dream house, but you get awfully close." Well, I like it but I don't like it. Confusing? Let me explain. This quote makes me feel like I should settle for something less. Which is why I don't really like it very much. But! It also reminds me that sometimes, though we aim high, we might not get everything we ever dream of and we can't just keep pining for something that might never be in our reach. Now I like this quote precisely because it reminds me that I shouldn't settle for less than everything I want. And each time you get awfully close to that dream house, you're just a short way off from THE dream house. Is this reverse psychology at work here? Its like the trying to hit the bulls eye on the archery target board. You keep trying and trying, figuring out what you did wrongly or differently to give you this undesired outcome. And you keep working on it to until you hit the bulls eye. Every time you missed the 'X', you shouldn't give up on trying to hit it over and over again.

I've been meaning to re-watch 13 Going On 30 since January this year because I am going on 30 soon. So now, I've checked that off my list. And I'm glad I've finally gotten down to making this blog a regular feature in my life. Once this gets off and becomes more stable, I will focus on my other blog - a travel blog (click here if you wanna check it out, its still pretty empty unfortunately)

Now this film made me sit up and notice Mark Ruffalo and Judy Greer. And although I've watched Judy Greer's performance in The Wedding Planner before 13 Going on 30, this film really sealed the deal for me when it comes to her acting. Judy Greer often plays the same type of woman on screen, sometimes sweet, mostly bitchy. But she really pulls it off time and again. I realised I am always drawn to quirky characters. (Think Zooey Deschanel and Krysten Ritter in Confessions Of A Shopaholic). And as for Mark Ruffalo, he may not be the drop dead gorgeous type of leading actor, he has a certain charisma and subtle attractiveness that draws me to him.

Jennifer Garner as Jenna Rink. She hit this one right out of the park! I loved her in this film. She was funny, vulnerable, sexy, and adorable all at once and she lights up the screen whenever she's in a scene. I totally bought into whatever her character was going through and I loved watching Jennifer Garner's Jenna Rink go through the changes, finally growing up and turning into the wonderful woman she always had in her to be. And I think this is why I love this film. Because if Jenna Rink can become a better person and figure out what she really wants and needs before its too late, so can I. And so can you. 

(1) Director Gary Winick has directed films like Charlotte's Web (2006), Bride Wars (2009), and Letters To Juliet (2010). 

(2) Jennifer Garner has acted in films like Pearl Harbour (2001), Catch Me If You Can (2002), Daredevil (2003), Elektra (2005), Catch And Release (2006), The Kingdom (2007), Juno (2007), Ghosts Of Girlfriends Past (2009), Valentine's Day (2010), Arthur (2011), and The Odd Life Of Timothy Green (2012)

(3) Judy Greer has acted in films like Three Kings (1999), What Women Want (2000), The Wedding Planner (2001), Adaptation (2002), The Village (2004), Elizabethtown (2005), American Dreamz (2006), 27 Dresses (2008), Love Happens (2009), Marmaduke (2010), Love & Other Drugs (2010), The Descendants (2011), and Playing For Keeps (2012). She has also voiced the character of Cheryl Tunt in the television series Archer (2009-2013). She has also guest starred in television series like Arrested Development, CSI: Miami, My Name Is Earl, Two And A Half Men, Californication, ER, House, Modern Family, The Big Bang Theory, How I Met Your Mother, and Royal Pains.

(4) Mark Ruffalo has acted in films like View From The Top (2003), Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind (2004), Collateral (2004), Just Like Heaven (2005), Rumour Has It (2005), Zodiac (2007), The Brothers Bloom (2008), Where The Wild Things Are (2009),  Shutter Island (2010), Date Night (2010), The Kids Are Alright (2010), Margaret (2011), and The Avengers (2012)

The Eclectic Reviewer says… I'm turning 30. This is reason enough why this film is a hit with me. But I think that the film appeals to everyone of all ages because it reminds you that its not too late to make changes in your life. Its never too late to fix what's broken in your life. Even if you don't have some magic wishing dust to help you along, you can still go up to people you've hurt before and say you're sorry. You still can make up for the nasty things you've done to people who love and care about you. If you're sincere, and show them the better person you've become, they might never forget what wrongs you did, but they can forgive you for it. (4.5 of 5)

* Movie Poster from Wikipedia

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Sweet Home Alabama (2002)

Directed by Andy Tennant (1)

Cast: Reese Witherspoon (2), Josh Lucas (3), Patrick Dempsey (4), Candice Bergen (5), Fred Ward (6), and Dakota Fanning (7), Ethan Embry (8), Melanie Lynskey (9)

(Watch the trailer)

My favourite quote - "You see the truth is, I gave my heart away a long time ago. My whole heart. And I never really got it back."

My favourite scene -

Melanie: Hey cowboy. You owe me a dance.
Jake: Nice dress. Where's your husband?
Melanie: I'm lookin' at him. Apparently you and I are still hitched.
Jake: Is that right?
Melanie: Yeah. Why didn't you tell me you came to New York?
Jake: I needed to make something of myself.
Melanie: About done?
Jake: What is it about you southern girls? You can't make the right decisions so you try all the wrong ones?
Melanie: At least I fight for what I want.
Jake: What do you want Melanie? I don't even think you know.
Melanie: You're the first boy I ever kissed Jake and I want you to be the last.
Jake: Maybe you and I had our chance.
Melanie: Fine! Have it your way you stubborn ass.
Jake: What do you wanna to be married to me for anyhow?
Melanie: So I can kiss you anytime I want.

Soul Mates (The One)

Personally, I feel that the best person to spend the rest of your life with is someone who would make you a better person. He may bring out the worst in you at times, but he also brings out the best in you. Can you ever forget your first love? Do you believe in soul mates? Sweet Home Alabama is all about first loves and soul mates. 

"Nobody finds their soul mate when they're ten years old... I mean where's the fun in that right?"

I’ve heard of a few real life stories where people re-marry someone they’ve divorced before. Or even someone who used to date in the past and broke it off but re-connected again later in life and then got married. Some people think that the past is best left there, in the past. And with the film What’s Your Number?, I agree that the men in the lead character’s past should be left in the past. 

However, one shoe doesn’t fit all. And sometimes, people just need a little time apart to figure things out and grow before they can be together again. Of course, the best case scenario would be that the two individuals change and grow together side by side weathering everything that comes at them. 

Sometimes, people just need time and space to grow up on their own. Just like you have to allow your child to make his or her own mistakes so that they learn from them. Sometimes, when you love someone too much, it clouds your judgement about what is good or bad for her and for the relationship. There is a great big world out that besides your relationship with someone. Your world can’t just revolve around the person you love. That is highly destructive. 

Thinking about my first love, and mind you I don’t mean the first guy I dated but the first guy I fell in love with, I ask myself if I would want to be together with him again or whether I still loved him. The answer is no. But there have been others who would probably forever be to me ‘the one who got away’. And maybe to Patrick Dempsey’s Andrew Hennings in Sweet Home Alabama, Reese Witherspoon’s Melanie will be ‘the one who got away’. However, the focus is on Josh Lucas’ Jake and Reese Witherspoon’s Melanie. 

Meant To Be

Do you believe in soul mates? I hope that soul mates exist. Cos that would make life so much more interesting and perhaps more meaningful. But I wouldn’t dare claim I know what having a soul mate is like. Perhaps when I do find mine, I will know it for sure. This film resonates with me because despite the fact that Jake and Melanie brought out the worst in each other, they also brought out the best. They were able to change and become more focused in their lives, but still at the core of it all, they loved each other. When you love someone, fight for it. 

Lurlynn: You know, he went up there.
Melanie: Who? Jake? When?
Lurlynn: About a year after you left. He doesn't know I know, but Clinton let it slip once.
Melanie: Jake was in New York?
Lurlynn: He told Clinton he'd never seen anything like it. He realised straight off he'd need more than an apology to win you back. He needed to conquer the world first. He's been trying ever since.
Melanie: That's why he kept sending the papers back.
Lurlynn: Yeah, it's funny how things don't work out.
Melanie: It's funny how they do.

A song comes to mind right now that echoes these thoughts. Click here to listen to it. Listen to the lyrics and you will see what I mean.